Where you going?

The haunt, chill and beauty of October never ceases to put me in a sort of trance. The smell of the air, the feeling of living in a tableau. I drive/walk/ride around, my face a little awash, trying to pull in all the color. The haunt of October is the most interesting: the days of warmth still scrape your arms and bronze your face; yet we all know that the cold, wet and white loom of Colorado winter is waiting to surprise the good nature out of us just around the corner...November. October gets all the fun--eggings, t-pings, drunken parties, sweets and November is that cold morning cleanup. So enjoy your last 10 days of free coasting before the chores kick in, kids...

Have some fun on my drum.
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Fitness month is going well thus far. Regular Yoga is really starting to pwn some serious sauce on me--which is surely tip-top. Never thought I'd feel soreness so deep in my muscles. Such fluidity has begun to stream in my movement and step. It's different, it's nice.

This song really makes me cry. I'm not quite sure why. Not the only song with Cudi's vocals that makes me tear up...Real beautiful. Check it. Dan Black is also a worthy, very talented artist that should definitely be checked out by those who seek pleasantries for the ears :)


Interesting how the unconscious or 'sub'consciousness is always and unususally one step ahead of that thinking, engaging, contemplative, feeling self. It's a protector, at times. A space and time that once seemed so grandoise and decadent: dead weight upon the thought and shoulders--can suddenly cease to mean anything. You start to detach, unplug and release. Whether you 'realize' it or not--it becomes an empty space. Blank and hollow; yet something that doesn't quite feel like it can be touched. One accepts absence, and one becomes absence. One no longer 'misses' as absence is the precise inverse of presence; when one encounters more absence than presence, the hollow of absence is all one comes to know.

And I grimace, but sometimes I just get sick of myself for always having that hand and smile out. Putting so much into each breath. Planning, assembling. I feel useless. Like a shortcoming, really. Just because of what I seem to generate or inspire: lack. It's lame. And I'm tired. So tired. Tired from another overnight, tired to this absence. Tired of wanting to move forward, advance--trying to find a niche to push forward; yet feeling as if things are so static. So fucking static and I want them to move. It's hard to push so long and much into something unchanging; and then I realize there's nothing I can really do to change it. Then I feel dumb and helpless. It's that static and undecided that seems to have weidled mastery over me. Blame me not of overthinking; I do that minimally...I think I could just use a nap in the passenger seat while someeone else takes the wheel for a bit. Preferably someone who can (and is willing to) drive stick...

but rule #1: set your phasers on Stun!