A cup of french press is an excellent way to strike 23h on a Sunday night. The smooth jolt of caffeine complemented with some Drankenstein 2 bumping in these new headphones (although I still feel that the FMJs are the best) really does the trick to calm my nerves that have felt like suspension cables the last few hours...
...least it's not anxiety: fear of the 'je ne sais quoi'; I know exactly what's making me uneasy, which is nice in some regard--to be liberated from such an empty, rotting ambiguity. Feeling stupid, blind and fumbling in the face of this looming specter is the real dagger, however. Contemporary dread; sloped in a hole of debt, bankruptcy, and like I'm just shooting in the dark. Never have I felt so without personal liberty and twisted into denial and worry (normally trying to deny my worry more specifically). Brief, it's quite degrading this feeling of being so hopeless. This is the worst employment situation I've been in since I was 19. Cool.
Ok, so if you're feeling bummed on life, you should probably bump the earlier mentioned Drankenstein 2 real loud. And make sure you got some bass on your phones! If dat shit don't make you feel better, you either got some serious shit to figure out or you're a hater and got a bad taste in music and you got yerself some real shit to figure out!
Anyway, started reading this book today. More work in my pursuit of super human strength and extended life. Should be a fun/interesting read. Really got me thinking (in a mostly abstract way) about the notion of change, appropriation, personal commitment and discipline and I wondered if the notion of a 'personal change' ie I want to make myself better, etc is even something realistic; or, moreover, what shapes and influences individual change. Or, how does one find the motivation to stick to it? Aw, hell, I'll try and figure this out in a little minute...
I'll be more on the ground next time.
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